Dear Mother Hubbard
My neighbor's dog(s) barks ALL NIGHT LONG.Do you have a gun I can borrow?
Smitty
Amarillo, TX
My neighbor's dog(s) barks ALL NIGHT LONG.Do you have a gun I can borrow?
Smitty
Amarillo, TX
Dear Smitty,
As a dog lover I assume you need the gun for your neighbor not his dog. I would suggest a more civil approach first such as pointing a couple stereo speakers that blast some Village People tunes into your nieghbors window each night as long as the dog is barking. If that does not get the point across then you have no choice but to call the police and report him for disturbing the peace. This always works better if you can get other neighbors to band with you. In the mean time throw a hot dog with a couple Benadryls in it over the fence every night about 10:00 and then take one yourself and you should get good nights sleep. I can not however loan you my gun. (Walther PPK Special-9mm)
Firearm Rules my father taught me:
Rule #1 - NEVER loan your piece to anyone....unless you are willing to do their time.
Rule#2 - ALWAYS use hollow point bullets.
xxx
MH
Firearm Rules my father taught me:
Rule #1 - NEVER loan your piece to anyone....unless you are willing to do their time.
Rule#2 - ALWAYS use hollow point bullets.
xxx
MH
**********
Dear MH,
So I noticed the new trend in Hollywood is to not wear your undies. What is your take on this and do you ever go commando?
Stephanie
Manhattan, KS
Dear Stephanie,
We were going commando in the 70's long before Britney Spears and those other celebrity ho's thought is was cool. But we NEVER put ourselves in a position to be filmed. Dumb, dumb, dumb. As for me currently going commando; my dear, there is a certain age a woman reaches when you no longer want to know the status of her undergarments. I have far surpassed that age so I will have to leave you guessing on that one.
xxx
MH
Manhattan, KS
Dear Stephanie,
We were going commando in the 70's long before Britney Spears and those other celebrity ho's thought is was cool. But we NEVER put ourselves in a position to be filmed. Dumb, dumb, dumb. As for me currently going commando; my dear, there is a certain age a woman reaches when you no longer want to know the status of her undergarments. I have far surpassed that age so I will have to leave you guessing on that one.
xxx
MH
**********
Dear Mother Hubbard,
What is the best way to have a busy life and still eat well?
Julie
Yoakam, TX
Dear Julie,
As I sit here noshing on leftover pizza and a diet coke while typing it may be best for me to consult Mr. Hubbard on this one! We definitely struggle with eating healthy on the road and keeping late hours and inconsistent meal times adds to the difficulty. We have found that if you keep the junk food out of the house then you are not as tempted to indulge. Munchies such as almonds, fruit, peanut butter, trail mix, wheat thins, low fat cheese cubes and wasabi peas are a few of the things we have on hand. On the road Ray discovered there are all night grocery stores in most cities so there is no reason to drive through McDonalds at 3:00am. You can get fruit and yogurt in the self-serve deli section as well as salads and even sushi. We ran into Willie’s daughter Lana at an HEB about 2:00 one morning stocking up the bus with potted meat and Vienna sausages!
xxx
MH
**********
Dear Mother Hubbard,
So we all know there are a lot of great venues in Texas to see live music, but where are some of ray's favorites outside of Texas, and does he like the east coast, west coast, or Midwest better.
Jimmy
El Paso
Dear Jimmy,
Ray loves the West Coast. They seem to really dig what he is doing and have cool roots rock scene of their own; Shooter Jennings, Lucinda Williams, Ryan Bingham etc. He recently played a packed house at McCabe’s in Santa Monica and Chris Robinson (Black Crowes) showed up and sat in so I would say that is one of his favorites. It is a music venue and a guitar store in one which adds to the lure for him! A few of his favorites outside of Texas are: The Birchmere in Alexandria, VA; The Borderline in London; The Palms in Winters, CA and The Blue Door in OKC, OK.
xxx
MH
**********
Dear Mother
How is the best way to handle a band member being way too drunk during a
show?
Kyle
Grapevine, TX
If he/she is too drunk to play then you definitely do not put them on stage. But don’t let them drive home either! If the band member is someone who has been with you a while and this has been a problem before then I would offer them the choice of getting help for their obvious drinking problem or finding another band. If it is a new member then I would do what an airline once did to me when I showed up drunk to work a flight. Fire them!
xxx
MH
**********
Dear MH,
I am getting married this year and my soon to be sister in law is a total beast. How would you handle the in-laws that hate you?
Amanda
I am getting married this year and my soon to be sister in law is a total beast. How would you handle the in-laws that hate you?
Amanda
Texas
Dear Amanda,
You first want to look at your own behavior since yours is the only one you really have control over. Have you done anything to piss her off? If your side of the street is clean then I would ask her privately and calmly if there is something you may not be aware of that you have done to cause her not to like you. Let her know that you both love her brother and you would like to mend any problems early so you and your future husband will continue to include her in your lives. If she goes mute and still continues to be a beast to you then consider it her loss. No need to stoop to her level as her immature behavior will become more glaring and hopefully unacceptable to the rest of the family if you remain your charming self. If however the rest of the family hates you and fiancé won’t intervene then I would say you’re screwed.
xxx
MH
**********
Dear Mother Hubbard,
What is the best way to deal with a distractive, crazy drunk fan at a show you're trying to enjoy?
Daniel
Beaumont, TX
Dear Daniel,
This is a dilemma that as we all deal with. I have heard statistics that say one out of every 10 drinkers develops a drinking problem at some point. So you figure if there are 300 people at a show then 30 of them have the tendency to be obnoxious.
I handle this different ways depending on how distracting the fan is. I once paid a kid at a festival $20 to steal a tambourine from a drunk girl who insisted on playing lead tambourine from the audience on every song. It’s always best to ask the bartender or manager to intervene. That keeps you from getting into a confrontation which is never good when one or more of you is drunk.
xxx
MH
